06 June 2011

Needing a Friend (Part 1)

Make new friends, but keep the old
One is silver, the other gold.

Who would have known that a song our Brownie Troop learned when I was a young girl, would be a reminder of such an important message almost 50 years later?

I have to admit that this weekend was quiet and a little lonely for me. My hours were filled with school work, house cleaning, laundry, and grocery shopping – all the weekend “to do’s” ... but something was missing.

I have moved many times in my life and in the past I have adjusted quickly, jumping in to activities and making new friends along the way. I am a people-person and usually pretty out-going, so I have never experienced problems with feeling “at home” in a new place... until now. I know that it was God’s plan for me to move to Colorado and I really love it here. I also find the people to be friendly and welcoming.  So, you might be asking....what is your problem?

I hadn’t been able to figure out my problem until I read a blog yesterday and the writer seemed to be pulling the words straight from my heart to her computer. She expressed the following words, “My biggest issue since I moved was I had no people of my own to call, friends.” All I could say was, “Yes, I understand.” She went on to say, “All my best friends were back where I had moved from.” Again I said, “Yes, exactly.” Then she expressed how she felt she was becoming a “recluse”... my heart skipped a beat. No, it’s not possible, not me! I knew at that moment, it was no coincidence that I had read her blog. You see, I am a firm believer that God puts others in our lives at the perfect time - to encourage us, help us realize our pain, or show us hope through the victory of someone else’s struggles.

The words of a complete stranger had help me reveal my unsettled feeling, the fact... I was choosing to be a “loner.” Don’t get me wrong, I have found a wonderful church, joined a Bible study, and have even been invited to a few social activities. But being involved and meeting new people is a lot different than having a friend that you can call up to go shopping or to the movies. Maybe my choice was because of the busyness in my life, or the fact that I hadn’t admitted that Colorado was really my home. God has called us to be in community with others and whatever my reasons were, I was being disobedient to God and things had to change.

So, today I spent time thanking God for the blessing of friendships. I thanked Him for my very best friend in the world, Diana. Even though we live far away from each other, we share a long-standing relationship that has spanned over 20 years. When we talk on the phone, it’s like we pick up right where we left off. When we send and receive cards, it’s always the perfect sentiment. I am also thankful for the many friends that are scattered across the country that have left imprints on my heart forever. I love keeping in touch and cherish the many cards and letters we share. I even said a special thank you for the friends from my youth that I have been able to reunite with on Facebook. I've found peace in my heart and know how truly blessed I am! 

I have been humming the tune of my childhood song all day long. As I think of the words that go with the tune, I realize that I have mastered the “keep the old” part, but my prayer today is that God will open the eyes of my heart and help me “make new friends” with those He has chosen to put in my life... right here in Colorado.

Friends are a gift from God, give thanks for them and to them! Be sure to check back on Friday for Part 2 of my post on “friendship” - Being a Friend.

God’s Peace, Donna Weaver

“Many people will walk in and out of your life.
But only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.”
- Eleanor Roosevelt


Kathi said...

My Sis, Donna...I just read your blog and I am literally shaking and sobbing. I absolutely know for certain why God has crossed our paths..It was no accident or coincidence. Your amazing, wonderful blog is about "Peace" and that is and has been the missing link in my life for some time now.

I read your "All About Me" and you named your grandchildren. I have 6 earthly grandchildren; Aiden, Brook, Jordyn, Ethan, Landen, Trisyn and 1 heavenly granddaughter, Ky. She was my youngest son's first child. She was full-term and she was stillborn. I vividly remember how perfectly beautiful she was when I held and rocked her for 6 hours. She just did not open her eyes...Oh "God", I prayed for her to open her eyes. My son broke every blood vessel in his eyes from crying. I saw his tears flow onto her precious baby cheeks. We had to let her go but the pain was unbearable and it still is today, if we allow ourselves to go there.

Four months before Ky's death, my beloved Mother passed away and 15 days later, my little brother lost his battle with an unthinkable, horrific cancer. Multiple losses (there is more but I'm getting too overwhelmed), endless grieving.... I still have found, NO PEACE!!!! At times, I truly feel like I died right along with them.

I am humbly at your blog today because I have a lot
of "unfinished" business to take care of before I can experience any kind of inner "PEACE."

God has really opened the eyes of my heart today and I will get down on my knees to thank him for revealing his message to me through your blog. I now realize that my feelings and emotions of being disconnected from the world were not just from being unemployed. I feel I am unemployed at this time so I can finally get to work on completing my grieving process so I can achieve some much needed "PEACE" and closure.

My broken heart thanks you, Donna....as I will continue to follow your blog and learn from you!!

Many Hugs & Blessings...
Your Sis In Christ,

Colin, Juanita, Ian, Brooke and Gavin said...

My dear friend Donna-

My heart ached as I read these words today. I have been in your shoes. Not as an adult, but as a child. You see, as a child growing up, we moved every 2 years.... a lesson in futility as part of my dad's job. Each move came with a promotion for him but as I got older, each move became more and more difficult for me. Leaving friends behind was hard.... and the hardest was the move to Colorado when I was in High School.

I always admired my mom in each of these situations. She was the encourager and always seemed so strong. Finding us our new school and helping us to make new friends. And I wonder now, did she ever feel lonely through all of this? But, she always taught us, that with each move, God gave us opportunities to experience friendships in new ways. And she always reminded us that as a result of all of our moves... we would be able to head out anywhere in this beautiful creation... and always be guaranteed of a friend along the way.

I am so thankful for my mom and her perspective. Her encouraging words and all the ways that she pushed me as a kid to just go out and make friends.... to knock on that neighbors door and say "Hi, I am... can you play?"

So Donna... Can I knock on your door... Can you come out and play?? I would love for you to join us... your Colorado friends! We will embrace YOU with open arms...

I love you girl! And, I am looking forward to that conference in October!


Maxine said...


I know with HIS help, you will find more friends!! They come to you when you least expect it!! The ones I respect and love the MOST are the ones that help my soul GO DEEPER!! When GOD is in the middle - it is the best. Looking forward to more times spent with you my friend! Blessings and much love, Maxine